Three Questions That Have Transformed My Day
I just turned 38 and I am FEELING it. Yes, I am blessed to have gotten this far. Yes, I know that in the grand scheme of things that this is still relatively young. Yes, I feel gratitude for my body and for what it’s gone through to get me to this point.
But.
When I wake up, everything hurts. When I hike, I feel it the next day. I can no longer drink coffee past 3 p.m., or wine for that matter. It gives me heartburn. I can’t keep my eyes open passed 9 p.m. and I have a face washing routine that lasts about a half hour. I am in an entirely new stage of life where I have to begin actively making choices that will very directly affect how I live out the rest of my life.
That’s some scary shit.
And I spent some time wallowing, lamenting the fact that I can’t use sun-in and a Venti iced latte to perk me up anymore. One of the biggest problems is, that if you begin to venture online for some help you will inundated with too much information on how to shift your perspective and live a balanced, healthy life. There are 5 healthy habits lists floating around and too many planners and organizers to name. There are Mediterranean diets and peletons and meditative practices and breath work and online therapists and oils and the problem is that most of them are good things! There are just too many of them, and I end becoming too overwhelmed with content, wearing my yoga pants and never using them other than to sit back down on the couch with a defeated spirit and a bag of Doritos.
We all know caring for ourselves should be a priority, but with all of the mixed messaging it was enough to make me throw in the towel long before I began; until I began narrowing my self-care pursuit down to three, defining questions that have since transformed my entire day. I figured some of you might have the same content consumption issue as I did, so I thought I would share them with you.
Every morning I wake up I ask myself three questions. Every single morning.
- How can I honor my body today?
- How can I honor my mind today?
- How can I honor my spirit today?
I mull it over as I brush my teeth, make the coffee and the lunches for the day. It makes me stop and evaluate how I am feeling, assess my needs and provide a plan of action that could vary from day to day based on those needs. It’s both versatile and succinct; and it’s literally changed my life.
So, how do I use them?
How Can I Honor My Body Today?
I’m just going to say it. I hate to exercise. Hate it. Like, I’d basically rather do anything else. Every time I’ve approached exercise in previous years, it’s come from a punitive place; punishment for having eaten things I shouldn’t have, for being lazy and not moving enough, etc. I’m also a serious foodie which means I love to cook- and eat- and I don’t like to limit my options when it comes to either. But I had been getting to a place where I was starting to feel uncomfortable in my skin, where my back was aching more than it should and I was generally feeling older than I actually was. Rather than run to the nearest fad diet like usual, I started asking myself,
“How can I honor my body today?”
Reframing the questions I normally asked such as, “How can I lose weight?” has been a serious game changer for me. For starters, using a word like honor immediately connotates positivity: something my previous questions NEVER did. Honoring my body felt like a nourishing question; a loving question. It communicated to my body first and foremost that I LOVED it and that I want to listen to it’s needs in order to honor them.
And you know what?
I move so much more now without even thinking about it because I’m doing it from a place of love. Honoring my body sometimes looks like a yoga session after my back has told me I sat for too long today and it was feeling the repercussions of the inactivity. Sometimes it means a long walk on the trail closest to my house without counting steps because my body deeply needed the connection to the earth to feel grounded. Sometimes, it means a quiet cup of tea and to breathe because my body had been suffering some physical, adverse affects of anxiety and rather than shame it for suffering I honor it by paying attention and participate in things that will HONOR it.
My body feels the healthiest it has felt in a long time because I am learning to honor it in this way.
How Can I Honor My Mind Today?
I’ve never kept my issues with both anxiety and depression a secret, but as I’ve gotten older it became apparent that I needed to take steps to invite other (professionals) into my life to help me monitor it. My doctor is the absolute best; she really listens, she really cares, and she helps me come up with solutions that we both feel comfortable with. She hooked me up with my CBT therapist who’s been integral in teaching me how to recognize some of my patterns and provide ways to usurp them before they snowball into a full blown anxiety attack. This is all well and good, but the care of my mind isn’t only reactive in nature; it’s proactive as well. The best way I’ve found to honor my mind is to be proactive in the things that are challenging, creative and life-giving. My answer to,
“How Can I Honor My Mind Today?” could vary from sitting at the piano for an hour, to reading a chapter in the book I’ve been dying to dive into, to setting aside a specific amount of time to tackle something for work that I’ve been putting off, to engaging in a creative project that fills my bucket; thusly, decreasing my chances of experiencing anxiety in a way that I cannot handle later.
How Can I Honor My Spirit Today?
I feel like our spiritual health, or the health of our spirit is often placed last when it really is what is the most influential in how our day will go. I am not necessarily talking about a higher power or an exercise in a religious belief even though it certainly could include that practice if it feeds your spirit. I ask myself what will truly give me a sense of peace and purpose for the day; what will remind me that I am a part of something bigger than myself, and make me feel more like myself in kind. It could be as simple as a phone call to a friend in order to connect in a deeper way, a swing in the hammock in my garden and mentally listing all of the things I used to want and now have with gratitude, cooking a lavish meal with courses and wine pairings for beloved family or studying a favored verse or poem that reminds me how beautiful life can be.
There are so many ways to care for oneself and prioritize wellbeing- but you don’t need to subscribe to a list, a method or a strategy crafted by someone else. So, ask yourself the questions- and don’t be surprised if you begin to learn that YOU knew YOU best after all.
